Every January, millions of people in the UK set themselves New Year’s resolutions, but too often those goals focus on restriction, discipline or self-criticism rather than well-being. According to a recent survey, roughly 72% of Brits will make at least one resolution for 2026, with many centering on health and self-improvement. Yet a significant proportion of people struggle to maintain them: one study found that fewer than 1 in 10 stick with their resolution all year, and many give up within just weeks.
The problem isn’t the idea of bettering ourselves; it’s how we approach change. Rather than punishing our bodies, minds or behaviour, what if the most significant resolution we make this year is to be kind to ourselves? Choosing self-compassion over self-criticism might seem unusual, but research and lived experience show it supports mental health, sustainable progress and resilience in a way that typical New Year’s resolutions rarely do.
In this post, we’ll explain what self-compassion really is, why traditional resolutions often backfire, and how embracing self-compassion can improve your mental health, everyday well-being, and even your ability to achieve meaningful goals.
At its core, self-compassion means treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a friend when they’re struggling. It’s not narcissism, self-pity, or ignoring responsibility; it’s a balanced personal value that acknowledges difficulties without harsh judgement.
Psychologist Kristin Neff, a leading researcher in this field, describes self-compassion as having three key elements:
This framework helps us see that self-compassion isn’t about ignoring problems, rather facing them with clarity instead of shame.
Most New Year’s resolutions focus on fixing flaws like losing weight, exercising more, saving money or working harder. But for many, these goals become a source of pressure rather than inspiration.
UK research shows that physical health goals dominate resolutions as around 66% of adults aim to improve physical well-being each year, followed by mental well-being goals (34%). But ambitions alone don’t guarantee success. In fact, Britain’s New Year’s resolution success rates are modest at best: fewer than one in ten people maintain their goals all year, and many abandon them quickly because expectations were too high or motivation was tied to self-criticism.
The psychological problem with many traditional resolutions is that they’re driven by self-judgment and “should-do” thinking. When we frame change as punishment or imply that who we are now is inadequate, we activate stress responses, feel guilt for lapses, and often give up altogether.
The good news is that research increasingly shows that self-compassion has real, measurable benefits for mental health.
Studies show that self-compassion is strongly linked with lower levels of anxiety and depression. People who practise kindness toward themselves experience less rumination, calmer emotional responses, and fewer self-criticisms, all of which are recognised predictors of better mental health. One UK-relevant review found that self-compassion was the strongest psychological predictor of well-being among therapeutic students, even when controlling other factors like resilience.
A study of nursing students in the UK found that self-compassion was positively associated with resilience, engagement and mental well-being, suggesting that people who are kinder to themselves tend to cope better with stress and stay mentally steadier when facing challenges. Importantly, resilience and well-being were significant predictors of self-compassion, reinforcing that these qualities work together in supporting emotional health.
Unlike self-esteem, which can depend on success and comparison with others, self-compassion supports stable self-worth. It encourages compassionate self-acknowledgement of effort and progress, allowing people to sustain motivation without emotional burnout.
Where traditional resolutions often prioritise quick fixes, self-compassion creates long-term change. Kind self-talk increases the chance of sticking with healthy habits, because progress is viewed in terms of learning and growth rather than all-or-nothing outcomes.
You might be wondering: “Can self-compassion really help me achieve other goals?” The answer is yes! When you approach goals with kindness, you’re more likely to:
In other words, while self-compassion isn’t a goal in the traditional sense, it supports goals by making them psychologically sustainable.
If embracing self-compassion feels unfamiliar, start small with these research-backed strategies:
When you notice harsh inner dialogue, pause and ask, “What would I say to a friend in this situation?” Deliberately shifting language from judgment to encouragement builds healthier self-talk.
Write about moments that were difficult, then reframe them with kindness. Acknowledging effort, not just outcomes, supports well-being and emotional clarity.
Mindfulness, noticing thoughts and feelings without judgment, helps reduce over-identification with negativity. Simple breathing exercises or grounding techniques can calm stress responses.
Post sticky notes or phone reminders with kind statements like: I’m doing my best, and that’s enough. These cues reinforce a compassionate mindset throughout the day.
Rather than waiting for big achievements, recognise gradual progress. Whether it’s taking a walk, having a rest day, or being honest about emotions, every compassionate choice matters.
In health and social care settings, compassionate attitudes also support better outcomes for both people receiving care and those providing it. For example, frontline staff often experience compassion fatigue, where chronic emotional strain reduces the ability to empathise and communicate effectively. A UK survey found that 71% of GPs reported experiencing compassion fatigue, which impacts their well-being and the quality of care they deliver.
Embedding self-compassion within organisational culture can help reduce burnout, support staff retention, and improve interactions with service users. When care professionals practise self-compassion, they model emotional regulation, balance and empathy, which can enhance the therapeutic environment and team well-being.
For people in supported living, self-compassion nurtures self-acceptance. It helps reduce internalised stigma, encourages realistic expectations, and supports emotional resilience during challenging transitions.
New Year’s resolutions don’t need to be about punishment, perfection or harsh self-criticism. While goals around health, finances and productivity are valid and valuable, the foundation on which you build them matters most.
Instead of promising yourself that you’ll be “better”, making a resolution to be kind to yourself supports mental health, resilience and sustainable progress. Self-compassion gives you room to grow, to learn and to navigate the ups and downs of life with humanity and balance.
So this year, make a resolution that truly supports your well-being: treat yourself with kindness, patience and respect.
Seven in 10 GPs in UK suffer from compassion fatigue, survey finds | GPs | The Guardian
Increasing Self-Compassion: Review of the Literature and Recommendations – PMC
Health, finances and fitness: Key themes for 2025 New Year’s Resolutions
Physical health tops 2025 New Year’s resolutions for Britons
Self-Compassion in the Age of Narcissism and Polarization | Psychology Today United Kingdom
New Year’s resolution statistics: What goals are Brits setting for 2026?
